i'm sorry...

my oh my.... why is this happening to me? god, i can't afford to lose you A. you're one of my closest friend. you've helped me soooo much. you've always been there for me. we've been through together so much. i'm really glad that you're my friend. you've been soo nice to me A.

but, i never thought that thing would end up like this. i don't even want it to end like this. all i can say is i'm sorry A. I really really really am sorry. i guess i freaked out. i did FREAKED OUT when you said those 3 words.

you wanna noe why i freaked out? i think i have a phobia. yup, a phobia towards those 3 words. ceyh, poyo la kau efa. haha. but yeah, i think it's true though. bukan lah phobia sgt pon, tapi entah lah... saye mmg takot kalu org ckp I LOVE YOU nih. maybe sbb patah hati dgn mr.S (bukan name sbena) dulu. haha. :P

lagi satu bile si A ni ckp 3 words tuh, saye mcm agk terkejut sbenanye bcoz i think i've made it clear with him yg saye mmg hanye suke die sbg kawan. tak pernah lebih. i think he knows that. he said that he loves me bcoz no one ever care for him the way i did. well, i guess he has mistaken me for my caring way towards him. dah kawan kn? mmg lah kne care for each other. i guess maybe terlebih sgt aku care for him smpi die tersalah anggap kn? but i'm not blaming you A. i'm the one whose having all the problem. erti kate lain, JIWA KACAU! haha. bcoz saye rase tak slh pon kalau die nk confess kn? dah kalau itu yg die rase, nk buat mcm mane? tapi mslhnye skang nih, i don't have the same feeling as him.

so i seriuosly think this is my fault. aduh, but whatever it is.... i don't want us to be apart from each other. when you said that 'saye takkan call or contact awk lg. saye tak nak la awk rase x comfortable' it crushed me. seriuosly it did. and i couldn't stop you from doing that. i don't have the guts to do so. i don't want to make things harder for you. i wanna give some space for you.

footnote : it's oke. time will heal efa. in'allah :)